The key to online dating introductions is writing a good personal Ad. This section provides some important and specific advice to both men and women. Pointers on how to write and respond to an online ad as well as an example of a highly successful ad are provided.

General Rules of Writing a Great Personal Ad

For a moment, imagine that you've been invited to a party, at which there will be many available, interesting men and women. How would you present yourself: angry, wearing your heart on your sleeve, dressed in a ratty sweatshirt? Of course not! You'd put on your best face, dress elegantly and be witty and charming and friendly, right? Well, those are the "secrets" to writing a good personal ad. It's about showing off your best attributes. Here are 12 ways to translate your best self into words on a page:

DO set the mood: Choose a time and place where you're relaxed to start writing your profile. Turn on music you enjoy, pour yourself a glass of wine or cup of tea, get in a good mood; the pleasant way you feel will be reflected in what you write.

DO write all your thoughts down before posting them online or in a paper: Organize your words, edit, rewrite, and spell and grammar-check it. You may meet your life partner this way; isn't it worth an extra few minutes to get it right?

DO show your personal style: Your eccentricities help paint an accurate picture of yourself. If you talk in a stream-of-consciousness style, let that show in your profile. If you have a wacky sense of humor, exhibit it.

DO put your heart in it: Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life.

DO try to communicate these three attributes: your senses of humor, integrity and self-confidence. These are characteristics people most look for in a mate. A word of caution: Don't confuse self-confidence with boasting or sounding egotistical. Temper your lists of accomplishments with signals that you don't take yourself too seriously. 

DO include a photo: On Match.Com, profiles accompanied by a photo have four to five times as many responses as those that don't. Choose a photo in which you're alone (one with your ex is a big NO-NO), smiling, well-lit and looking good. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.

DON'T work on your profile when you're feeling down: If you've just gotten shot down at work, are having a bad-hair day or feel fat, that's going to color the way you portray yourself. Wait a day or two until you're feeling better.

DON'T overthink it: You want your profile to reflect who you are, not some imaginary being you think people will be more attracted to. Your profile should have life to it; avoid letting it get flat and lacking in personality.

DON'T give negative details: Rambling on about your insane ex, your last visit to the therapist or how you hate men who can't commit is a turn-off in an ad, just as it is in person.

DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self.

DON'T give a laundry list: Just listing all the details about your life, or the type of mate you're looking for, is boring. 

DON'T think that once you've posted your profile, that's it: You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along. If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. We don't get many "do-overs" in life; take advantage of them when they pop up.

Men's Ad Writing Advice

The most frequent complaints men share about internet dating are that women don't respond to their ads or their e.mail. You can avoid both these problems by following a few simple guidelines while writing both your free ad and your responses to womens' ads. So here is how to write an effective ad.

BE HONEST. The fastest way to ruin what might have been a beautiful friendship is to lie. Hide the fact that you are a single father of 5 year-old triplets, and miss a chance to find the woman who wants to love them and share your parental joys. Dishonesty will always be caught sooner or later. Allow others to make informed decisions about what they will and will not accept, based on an honest representation of yourself. As a fit person you would likely be disappointed to learn that the woman you've been writing for the last month weighs 250 pounds, and not 125 as stated. She will feel likewise to learn you are not who you represented yourself to be! Be truthful and avoid the pain, heartache, disappointment and separation caused by dishonesty. Open yourself to incredible happiness by allowing others to love you as you are, for who you are. 

CREATE A 'GRABBER'. A 'grabber' is an attention-getting headline which stands out above the rest and demands to be read. There are many, many 'DWM's, 44, seeking love' out there. Be different, even if you ARE a 'DWM, 44, seeking love'. Check out the competition. What attracts your attention to their ads? Note those which stand out have clarity and are original, personal, and direct. What can you say about yourself in a single sentence which makes you irresistible to the opposite sex? If you truly seek love and long-term commitment, comments here about length, size and shape of 'physical' attributes are a turn-off to women who seek men of intellectual, emotional, and spiritual substance. Pornographic headlines are not accepted into the database. If you are well-endowed.... with a fabulous sense of humour, use it! Nothing attracts so quickly as laughter and goodwill. 

BE SPECIFIC. You know who you are and what you want..tell them about it! Almost everyone seems to enjoy 'moonlit walks, candlelight dinners, and strolls on the beach'. Be specific about values held and sought, in addition to naming hobbies and interests. If you know your soulmate is a Buddhist, say so. If you are adamant about remaining childless, convey that too. State your willingness to travel. The woman in Paris may not respond when she notes you live in Rio, if you fail to mention that geographic location is no barrier. What is your personal mantra? Share it. The woman who understands and appreciates it best, is the one who will reply. 

BE POSITIVE. Let your natural exuberance and zest for life shine through in your writing. Negativity repels. You may elicit an offer from a counselling service if you project a woebegone, or suicidal attitude, but you probably won't attract your soulmate. 

BEST FOOT FORWARD. You wouldn't (hopefully) show up on a first date unwashed and unkempt, would you? Likewise, if your spelling skills are somewhat lacking, consult a dictionary before submitting your otherwise artfully crafted and well-thought-out ad. 

BE HONEST, BE HONEST, BE HONEST. One aspect which cannot be over-stated!! 

Ladies, prepare to be deluged with more suitors than you ever dreamed possible. The Internet is still male-dominated, and this time, that's to your advantage! While men may need step by step pointers our focus in this section is advising you around a very successful ad written by a woman which garnered much attention and response from the type of partners she sought.

Certain facts about men and women are not going to change. Men will look first for a pretty face, is one of them. So, if you are looking for a man who is interested in you... your mind, heart and spirit, in addition to your gorgeous mug, then your ad must be crafted to attract the type of man you seek. 

Take a look at this example of a real personal ad which garnered several hundred responses in a few short months:

"A classic Sag, born in a pig year, I am happy to be me, and this site IS 'under construction' each and every day. Happiness is being in the moment, and having health, peace of mind and love. Breathing is very, very good, so are flexibility and movement. Joy is found everywhere...in family, friends, work, and play; snowflakes, clouds and mountains; bears, birds, trees and flowers; really fine Belgian truffles and an occassional black lager. Ecstacy will be connecting and becoming one with you. 

You understand what I said above, who I am, what I want. You know who you are and what you want. You set goals and achieve what you want. You are fit, active, and intelligent. You enjoy a rewarding & challenging career.You embrace the dark as well as the light. You feel and express emotion freely and with sensitivity. You refuse to carry another's emotional baggage, and yet are empathetic. You speak honestly and act with integrity. You compromise only what you do, not who you are. You love yourself and want to share your wants and needs with a partner. 

The light within shines in your eyes and you are radiant in every way. So am I. Let's connect." 

Who are you and what do you want? Think about it. Make a list of everything that is important to you. This may take some time, but its worth spending. A few hours, days or even weeks is a mere blip in the overall scheme of things when compared to spending years in misery with an incompatible man, or a lifetime with your soulmate. Opt for the latter and do your homework! 

Create a 'grabber', a single line, designed to attract attention to your ad. Avoid the typical, mundane 'DWF, 44, seeks partner'....you and four million others fit this description. Humour works well.  Scan other ads and see which ones attract your attention.

Men: Responding to a Woman's Ad

SAY SOMETHING. The following e-mail was chuckled at and hit the bin in record time. 'Hi, my name is Sparky. I like your attitude. Tell me more.' Go beyond standard bar 'pick-up' lines. 
 SPEAK TO HER DIRECTLY. Some men craft "form e-mail", and send it to numerous women. Form letter recipients are usually unimpressed by lack of effort, and you probably won't hear back from them. Speak directly to what she said in her ad. Note and compliment what you thought interesting, funny or entertaining. Tell her if you meet her 'qualifications' and why. MORE INFORMATION. Share more personal information about yourself than contained in your ad.
 MAILBOX NUMBER. Include your personal ad mailbox number so she can check out your description, mug and voice. She'll respond that much sooner!
 BE PATIENT AND PERSISTENT. Women lead busy lives! She might be out of town, her ISP server down, the computer crashed, or snowed under by kids and business paperwork for a week after you write. Wait awhile, then write back, mention your first e-mail, and include the fact that you are really interested in her. BE POLITE and POSITIVE 'Hi, my name is Bob. Write back if you're not a liar or a thief'. The recipient prefered to be considered a liar and a thief than respond to this negative approach.
 GOOD WISHES. A closing statement conveying best wishes whether she chooses to respond to your e-mail or not, speaks volumes about the sender. It may be the one nice thing she has heard all day, and enough to generate a response for you!